"I love you and want for you all things that make you happiest; and I guess you, not I, are the one who knows best what those things are."

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Things Are Getting Real

It’s amazing what a week can do to your mental state.  Last week I was in my “straighten the house, arrange for babysitters” state of mind.  This week I’ve moved into total panic.  My brain is screaming “NOTHING is ready for baby!” 

I spend a great deal of my day self-talking myself down from the ledge.  All will be fine.  If there are still clothes that need to be put away on the couch when Charlie arrives, it will be fine.  If the dining room table has some papers and toys on one end, it will be fine.  This too shall pass.  I know this.  But my brain still wants the whole world to be ordered before we bring a new baby into this world.  Smile

At the same time, sleeping is getting tougher.  I’m waking up repeatedly to go to the bathroom.  And a few nights ago I had my first very real, very legit nightmare about Charlie’s arrival.  I woke up in a sweat with my heart racing.  It’s probably to be expected under the circumstances, but it messed with what little sleep I’m getting these days. 

Matt describes the situation as a giant roller coaster.  No matter how much people describe it’s twists and turns…no matter how much you think you’re ready…when that last car clicks loose of the chain at the top – there is no turning back.  And you have to experience it first hand to fully understand what others are talking about.

I simply describe it as being pushed off a cliff.

Not sure which is more appropriate….but I know that we’re as ready as we’re going to be…

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