"I love you and want for you all things that make you happiest; and I guess you, not I, are the one who knows best what those things are."

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Man I Fell In Love With

I'm reminded constantly how wonderful the man I fell in love with really is.  I know that I'm blessed to have someone who stands by my side, pushes me to be better, lets me cry on his shoulder and loves me completely even with my faults. 

Matt has always wanted the best for me.  He's far less selfish than I am in this regard.  I can think of many, many times when he pushed me to pursue things I would have let go otherwise.  A great instance: graduate school.

What He Said: "Go to Western.  It's what you really want; it's the perfect school for you"

What I Heard: "I don't want to live within 5 states of you"

What I Wanted To Do: Go to school somewhere significantly closer to where he was going to live...and no, I didn't know where that was or if I would be anywhere near a student affairs program.

What He Wanted Me To Do: Go to the best school and get the best education in my field.  Build a great resume and network of professionals that would help me in the future.

This is just one example of where our communication has fallen a little short.  It's not that we don't love each other dearly - and we're in it for the long haul - but sometimes what one says gets very skewed by the time the other one hears it.  I never expect him to read my mind, but I know I'm guilty of not saying things outright and hoping he'll come around on his own.  You would think that after all the counseling based classes I took in grad school this communication thing would be less of a problem. 

It seems like we're always looking for ways to improve our communication. Verbally - yes, physically - yes, emotionally - yes.  So how does a couple go about doing that? I guess knowing that you need to work on it is a step in the right direction.

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